the spinning is getting worse. My face is warm now. I have a feeling I won't be able to type much longer. Though my fingers seem to be flying.
All those words of wisdom I usually have are lost to me.
I wish I could cry. I can synch with film and become the emotion, but itws not the same thing. When I think of my life, a general knumbness washes over me. I cease to feel, to be.
I used to know the future. I coudl see it as the dreams of norm. Now my dreams are only nightmares.
I yearn to pick up the phone.
But I can't.
I have nothing to say. There is nothing to say. There was nothing worth saying when it happened. Now its far too late. It was too late when the last call was made. I was too busy playing my game to try.
Fucking games.
And then there was the fall.
Falls are like that. They do all the work them selves. All you have to do is not try. The world can shape its self around you.
I'm sick of love.
Maybe life is nothing more than one lusty encounter after another. A series of random events.
All my random ness is far out of reach. There was one time it was at beck and call. I miss the essence of beauty. Living in nothing more than the moment. HAving ties to nighting but desire.
I can still feel that sometimes. Wanting someone, having someone, just to know you are still alive. To see the infintesimal beauty of a single second and in the eyes of a virgin on to you.
I'm 28 now and the world has proclaimed that I have entered the age of fall.
Divorce is rampant. I see one and now they seem to sprout like misquitos in a pool os stagnent water. So I travel in time back to the world of 22-25 and sea untouched beauties.
I remember going through what they do now.
The fall of goodness. The days you learn the world isn't what you have been lead to beleive.
this is why so many people get divorced. They find someone who takes their breath away. and jump in. After a year or so all thos ecute little things their partner does, thatb once were cute are just annoying. Hot chicks get fat. Smart guys become dumb. The motivated become complacent.
So find some one, you can stand. Don't find yourself someone your girlfriends want. Don't marry a looker.
Fuck, I'm losing my thoghts.
All those words of wisdom I usually have are lost to me.
I wish I could cry. I can synch with film and become the emotion, but itws not the same thing. When I think of my life, a general knumbness washes over me. I cease to feel, to be.
I used to know the future. I coudl see it as the dreams of norm. Now my dreams are only nightmares.
I yearn to pick up the phone.
But I can't.
I have nothing to say. There is nothing to say. There was nothing worth saying when it happened. Now its far too late. It was too late when the last call was made. I was too busy playing my game to try.
Fucking games.
And then there was the fall.
Falls are like that. They do all the work them selves. All you have to do is not try. The world can shape its self around you.
I'm sick of love.
Maybe life is nothing more than one lusty encounter after another. A series of random events.
All my random ness is far out of reach. There was one time it was at beck and call. I miss the essence of beauty. Living in nothing more than the moment. HAving ties to nighting but desire.
I can still feel that sometimes. Wanting someone, having someone, just to know you are still alive. To see the infintesimal beauty of a single second and in the eyes of a virgin on to you.
I'm 28 now and the world has proclaimed that I have entered the age of fall.
Divorce is rampant. I see one and now they seem to sprout like misquitos in a pool os stagnent water. So I travel in time back to the world of 22-25 and sea untouched beauties.
I remember going through what they do now.
The fall of goodness. The days you learn the world isn't what you have been lead to beleive.
this is why so many people get divorced. They find someone who takes their breath away. and jump in. After a year or so all thos ecute little things their partner does, thatb once were cute are just annoying. Hot chicks get fat. Smart guys become dumb. The motivated become complacent.
So find some one, you can stand. Don't find yourself someone your girlfriends want. Don't marry a looker.
Fuck, I'm losing my thoghts.
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