I've hit the point where I can't see straight. So this posting must come to an end.
But let me place a warning to all.
What lies below are the semi deranged writing od a fairly drunk, mildly depressed man.
If you don't want to taste of the inner workings of my mind, do not proceed.
There are a lot of things you don't want to know. Some of which may be written below so stop reading.
This is your warning.

PS if you decide to read start from the bottom, where I was les drunk and making more sence.
Maybe.
I'm still pissed I lost the first post.
Maybe I should pick up the phone.