Hmmm, I've been doing a lot of soul searching, contemplations of who I was/am/will be and I must say, I don't like what I see.
I don't know if its that I hate myself or hate what I've become, but its there starring at me in the mirror every time I look.
Why am I looking now. There could be many reasons. MY past is catching up with me. Forgotton sins returning to take their natural revenge.
For some reason I just can't seem to get by it all. Its llike my destiny is no longer in my hands, as if the stars now controll me. Oh Mercury won't you shift your orbit so that I may have a happier, more fufilled life.

Wait for it...

Wait for it....


Wait.......

Now, see there we go. I'm back to being totally kick ass. And alll the stars can bite me, especially Tia Carrere and Claudia Black.

Astrology blows, just like your mom! Yikes, perish the though.
I don't really get all of the "your mom" jokes. they are the kind that seem funny till you think about them. Most people don't have MILFs for mothers. Most people have MIHTSN (Mother's I'd Hate To See Nakid). So if you want to make jokes about getting it on with someone's mom, go ahead, your loss buddy.
Now your hot sister, she is another story :)
(that only applies to those of you with hot sisters)
(or slutty sisters)
(as long s she isn't hideous)
(or she dosen't mind wearing a bag on her head)

Have you ever tried having sex with a bag on your head? Its not easy.