Not sure if I should record this as of who reads it, but thats never stopped me before. If y'all don't feel like reading today I won't be offended in fact it may be for the best.
Teaser:
Every wonder what it would be like to have a 3 some with your current signifigant other and your ex......
Yeah now is a good time to stop reading.
Well I sort of found out in a sence.
I had a very vivid dream last night. For some reason my Ex had come over to my parent's house. I'm not exactly sure why. For the same unknown reason she ended up riding back to my place with me and BZ. This was one of those dreams where nothing really makes sence it just sort of happens. K the ex was beng extra bitchy, but then starts fooling around with BZ in the car. Some where along the way its discussed that we should all have a fling of sorts together, K was also bitchy about that.
We magically apear in the bedroom and go at it. The whole thing was very cold and passionless and not the least bit fun. We just sort of assumed this position where I was on the botton with K sitting backward in my lap with BZ going down on her from the front. I wasn't in the normal place if you know what I mean, which is odd because K usually didn't like that. I asked her if I could do it the other way as it just wasn't enjoyable and I figured it wasn't really good for her eithor.
All of a sudden we're back in the car and she is yelling at me from the back seat about how she wouldn't let me do it that way because she forgot to take her pill and there were some other reasons and she was extra bitchy even more so that I usually remember her being.
It was around there that I awoke in a cold sweat at about 4:40AM. It seemed to be a better idea to get up and take a shower and start my day than risk getting back into that mess.
In some way I feel like it was some sort of metaphor for our relationship, but I haven't worked all that out yet.
I'm really getting tired of being miserable. What ever feelings I had for K are finally starting to fade, but as I feared all of the other ones I have are fading as well. I see now only points of misery and depression. I think its real this time. I was home a few nights back and went through my drawer of memories and looked over pictures of us from when we were happy. They didn't bring up any reall emotion, except that she looked like crap in them.
I still miss Sarah a bit, who was in and out of my life in a blink. I wasn't who I am now when I knew her. I'm not ever really sure who I was, but she just kind of got me. I don't think anyone really has since.
In their defence though most days I don't even get me.
I miss Jen as well. She was never a kindered spirit sort of person, but we had fun.
Most of the rest of the drawer was just misery, bad memories, and emptyness.
I should get back to work before I delve to far into all of this.
Teaser:
Every wonder what it would be like to have a 3 some with your current signifigant other and your ex......
Yeah now is a good time to stop reading.
Well I sort of found out in a sence.
I had a very vivid dream last night. For some reason my Ex had come over to my parent's house. I'm not exactly sure why. For the same unknown reason she ended up riding back to my place with me and BZ. This was one of those dreams where nothing really makes sence it just sort of happens. K the ex was beng extra bitchy, but then starts fooling around with BZ in the car. Some where along the way its discussed that we should all have a fling of sorts together, K was also bitchy about that.
We magically apear in the bedroom and go at it. The whole thing was very cold and passionless and not the least bit fun. We just sort of assumed this position where I was on the botton with K sitting backward in my lap with BZ going down on her from the front. I wasn't in the normal place if you know what I mean, which is odd because K usually didn't like that. I asked her if I could do it the other way as it just wasn't enjoyable and I figured it wasn't really good for her eithor.
All of a sudden we're back in the car and she is yelling at me from the back seat about how she wouldn't let me do it that way because she forgot to take her pill and there were some other reasons and she was extra bitchy even more so that I usually remember her being.
It was around there that I awoke in a cold sweat at about 4:40AM. It seemed to be a better idea to get up and take a shower and start my day than risk getting back into that mess.
In some way I feel like it was some sort of metaphor for our relationship, but I haven't worked all that out yet.
I'm really getting tired of being miserable. What ever feelings I had for K are finally starting to fade, but as I feared all of the other ones I have are fading as well. I see now only points of misery and depression. I think its real this time. I was home a few nights back and went through my drawer of memories and looked over pictures of us from when we were happy. They didn't bring up any reall emotion, except that she looked like crap in them.
I still miss Sarah a bit, who was in and out of my life in a blink. I wasn't who I am now when I knew her. I'm not ever really sure who I was, but she just kind of got me. I don't think anyone really has since.
In their defence though most days I don't even get me.
I miss Jen as well. She was never a kindered spirit sort of person, but we had fun.
Most of the rest of the drawer was just misery, bad memories, and emptyness.
I should get back to work before I delve to far into all of this.
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