Well it seems my posting of future monsters has lead to a wave of respondance...yes 1. Its always nice to have that little reassurance that someone is reading the idiocy you are publicly posting. Since I am renewed in my readership I thought I'd share a tale of untruth.

You know what is hotter than hot?
Its just before bed time. You're in the bathroom brushing your teeth, when your girlfriend (sub fiancie/sub wife) starts giving you the sign. For some its a sultry wink, a batting of the eye lashes, or a devious smile. Others may get more invoulved, the tooth paste gets droped and she bends over, allowing her night shirt to ride up, revealing a lack of panties or maybe a special pair.
Now I'm a bit dense so for our sign, you start with an open fist, in the shape of an O, then stick out your middle finger on your other hand. Insert finger into fist. rinse and repeate....well skip the rinsing.

So now you're there. You have the Hi sign. Its a go. Roll those dice, you won't get snake eyes.
I finish brushing. I give myself the quick pep talk, "You're the man. She wants it sooo bad. And who's going to give it to her? Damn straight! Thats why they call you Cassanova Romeo." Sometimes there is a song and dance too, but that gets saved for weekends.

So in you go. Turn the lights down low. Break out the flavored oils.

"Wait a minuite," she sais, "Go get that movie from my room."

'Movie, hmm' So you step out and grab the dvd 'Naughty Office: What she won't do to get paid'.
My oh my, can it get any better. Porn and sex all in the same night. Score!

So you get back.
And she is giggling like a school girl.
And the room smells like cheeze, cut cheeze.
And the movie she meant was 'Singing in the Rain'.
And no its not about golden showers.

The End.
More stories of falsitudes to come.
I really miss writing.