Why I hate x-mas, issue 3 or 4 or something like that.

So tuesday night I went to walmart to pick up new movies. I got Serenity, Brothers Grimm, Puddle Cruiser, and an anime film titled Samauri 7.
First off the checkout lines are insane. Every idiot and his stupid wife are there. So I decide to take a risk and hop into one of the self check lines. After about 20 minutes I'm next in line behind a guy buying 1 windshield wiper. This duche bag has Idiot written al over him, from his bad nascar patched bomber leather coat down to his Jeff Gordon wanna be crew cut and mustache.
He ring up the wiper blade, 3.78. The machine does some calculating and produces a final price.
He puts in 2 dollars. The third dollar won't go in because its a torn wrinkled peice of trash.
He flips it over and trys again, no go.
One more try and he puts that dollar away and gets out a new bill. This one goes in.
We wait.
We wait some more.
The computer screen says "Owed 1.10"
Finally he puts another dollar in.
"Owed 0.10"
We wait
We wait
We wait
Me: "I think you need to put in another 10 cents"
We wait
We wait
In the crazy spirit of giving and all that jazz, I take out my wallet and fish out a dime.
Me: "Here"
He just stares at me for a moment. Then he takes the dime.
Him: "Thanks"
He puts the dime in his pocket and walks away from the machine to one of the clerks.
Him: "That machine isn't working right"
The clerk comes over and looks at the machine and tells the man he has to deposit 10 cents.
Him: But these said 3.87
I guess he has never heard of Tax.
Fianlly, dime comes back out of pocket and goes into machine. It spits out a receit. He leaves.
I begin scanning movies and rubbing them on the counter to shut off the magnetic alarm triggering strip.
Lady behind me: "DO you have to run all of those on the counter"
Me: "Yes I don't want to set off the alarm."
I scan number two and begin to rub.
Lady behind me: "DO you have to run all of those on the counter"
I ignore her and scan number three and begin to rub.
Lady behind me: "DO you have to run all of those on the counter"
Me: "Yes"
She shuts up. I finish number four and am out of walmart.

All I can say is thank the governing officials of Ct and the US for passing that 7 day waiting period on handguns.
Man do I hate stupid people.

Man am I jittery today. I could barly sit still in the meeting this morning. I did work up some new and cool scifi weapons durring the meeting though so it wasn't a total waste.

Today is going to drive me nuts. I had to get in early to make it to the meeting on time and I'm going to be here late because we are doing a lab dinner tonight. This would all be fine, but I still don't have any work to do. My web sites aren't updated so nothing new to read. Its almost 11am and I'm bored as shit.
Ugh.

You know what I hate?

War.

You know what I hate more than that?

Pointless, needless wars.

You know what I hate even more than that?

An idiot president, who comes on TV, durring sunday night TV, which pospones all of the shows, just so he can tell us that we're not going to stop this stupid war. We're going to keep troops in Iraq pretty much indeffinatly. Man do I hate his speaches too. Its all just retoric nonsence. He has probably 6 or 7 key words which are said in different order over and over. Like this:

We're not going to pull troops out of Iraq until we achieve victory. Because victory is the only way to stop terrorists. There are terrorists in Iraq and our troops will be victorious over them, because they are troops in Iraq for victory...over terrorists. The world will only be safe when the terrorists are defeated by our victory troops.

It makes me wonder if they write his speaches with six siders?
"Roll, Roll, Roll"
Hmm, Iraq, 911, vicroty.
"To keep something like 911 from happening again we must have total victory in Iraq."

I should have some made up and sell them as a game.

Well I survived another day of insanity, not sure if they are getting better or worse.
I got an X-mas card from my friends up north. It always seems that thier notes and gifts find me when I am at my worst. They always seem to brighten my mood and turn the world right side up, for that I thank them and apreciate the gestures beyond wordly thanks.

Of cource now I need to find some bits of wackiness to send back, which is also fun:) Hahahahaha

Over the weekend I saw the 40yr old virgin and the island.
40YOV was much better than I thought it was going to be. Of cource I though it was going to be horrible, especially after seeing "the office", the lead actor's TV show, but it was suprisingly light and fun and funny. I must say I saw a few too many similarities between myself and the main character and if you know me and see the film you probably will too. Its not the virgin part BTW or his fantastic way with women.

"The Island" was also good, but I figured it out way too quickly. Maybe I'm too smart for my own good, or I just get movie paranoia. If life were more like movies I would so be the King I should be. That is unless Life were like king kong, then I would be a duke or something. I may be ultra cool, swank, and savoir, smart, fast, and strong, but even I can't fight a giant gorilla. Its just not in the cards.

Oh yeah I think I was supposed to stop posting here, but as usual I can't follow my own advice.

Ah and "get busy living or get busy dying" the quote from the Shawshank redemption. Thank you to my loyal reader for remembering that. As to what it means, I'm not really sure. I haven't seen the movie for a while, but if I recall correctly he won a boat at the end or something like that, so the quote must have been good.
The guy in "the Island" won a boat at the end too, I wonder if there is some connection?

Mountain Dew and some hideous asian noodles, which tasted like cigarete buts have partially returned my sanity. Thought there it goes and where it comes from I'm still unsure.
I've come to the point in life where I can think too much too quickly. Any spare time is thought, 10 seconds between spins where I just wait and drift through the seas of my mind and away I go to never never land, where you never grow past what holds you down and you get to wear the same outfit for all eternity.

If wishes were nickles, I'd probably urinate in your mail box.

This is one of thse days where I just can't wae up. MY eyes keep fluttering closed, they did on the whole ride in and still are. Its days like this where I don't have any control over my thoughts and really should just go back to bed and hide form the world until my mind is back again.

I'm thinking that I may have to stop posting. Writing here isn't serving the purposes for which I had orgionally wanted it. I can't write and reflect and work out misplaced ideas here any more. Any emotional turmoil I release in doing so I get back ten fold when people read my ramblings. So I don't know if this is good by to a daily journal yet, but its getting close.

Let me add in how much I hate christmas. I hate people. I hate crowds. I hate idiot drivers. I hate jerks: JErks in line, Jerks on the road, Jerks who won't tell you what they want and would just complain about what ever they get anyway. Ugh...

Every year I try harder and harder not to celebrate this misery and every year somehow I get roped back in. If you say anything about it you get accused of being a grinch. Well I'm sorry if I don't want to be an idiot like the rest of the sheep of this world. I'd rather take up my torch and burn my bridges and set fire to the haylofts "Baaa Baaa Baaa you've got no homes, Suck on that lousers". Man that scrouge guy had it right. All this holiday is, is a time where people whine at you and want stuff. It wasn't his fault you have to do some unscruplious things to get ahead in business. It wasn't his fault the twit who worked for him couldn't stand up for himself and get a decent wage. Maybe if he didn't spend all his free time boinking gutter trash he wouldn't have lame kids and he could get an education and a real job.

I would love to see my three ghosts so I could tell them on at a time to bugger off. My past is a blank slate. My present is a sea of confusion. My future is predestined. More and more I can see the beauty of the darkness. More and more it calls to me. And as I think these thoughts now I have a moment of clarity. The waking world grasps hold of me and pulls me back into existance. I am not meant to live a live of ease and tranquility. In it I am quickly lost.......

Ended up not sending anything. I got done writing a long and razing letter, then looked it over and tossed it. There just isn't any point to it any more. They probably don't even get read and if they do their only purpose is to spread misery which I no longer find to be my driving force.

I'm really in a mood to just wasted the rest of the day. I have to go to class, but besides that no science will be going on. I wish I could find the damn papers for class, they aren't listed anywhere I can find.

Ugh, I just want to go driving into oblivion, but there is a dog to let out and feed.
For a long time I was only realy living to see the star wars trilogy finish up. Hehe yeah it was a real dissappointment. I'm not even sure why I'm still here now, not one of those big meaningful WHYs? but just a general what am I still doing hanging around.
I don't remember the person who said this but it goes something like this, "Get busy living or get busy dying" I still can't find much of a reason to do eithor.

its DEc 15th again, possibly my most hated day of the year. I don't know if this day is geting better or just being absorbed into the rest of the year. As always I sit here wondering if I should say something, send something, one last final comment. I don't know if there is much of a point to it, but if I don't send anything then the words sit and swirl in my head for another year or until they are said.

I was actually feeling fairly well today, not the normal sort of insta-depression I usually fall into. I'd say something about it maybe being all over, but it seems everytime I do I end up being wrong.

I need to stop asking questions, stop looking for reasons, I know there will never be an answer I really hear, unless its one I want to. "I was wrong, I'm miserable now, Please forgive me." That will never happen. Instead its "I'm so happy, everything is so wonderful, we're sooooo in love." If I knew his face I would curse them in misery. Its a curse I know well, but don't know if I still have the energy to cast it, but then thats why it is good being me. I can always go back to any time I've been and relive whats already past and recharge feelings long gone.

Maybe I should just write, but as always I fear the responce. I already know what it will be.
Writing this isn't making me feel any beter so I'm just going to finish it here.

Reality is slipping.
I've been having a lot of trouble remembering what day it is. Yesterday I thought it was friday when I was driving in, then when I got home I thought it was tuesday and couldn't for the life of me rememebr what I had done monday night. When I woke up today I thought it was saturday and couldn't figure out why I set my alarm on a weekend.
As always I end up posing the same question of where reality begins and ends, and what happens when those lines begin to drift....

Spent way too much money the last few days. Darn that Itunes and my need for Ska and Punk music. Also Darn that ebay and its easily accessable figures of various types. Its just too easy to spend these days, you don't even have to swipe the card any more. Its all digital now, money magically goes in by direct deposit and magically comes out in a variety of ways. Ugh.

Still have a lot of shopping to do for this winter giving holliday.

Whew, all done. PResentation went well enough. I trashed the paper like there was no tomorow and did ok. Now I just have to keep from shorting out and get home...well a bit of lab work to do first.

11 minutes and counting. I finished the presentation for the most part and have kind of been through it 2 times so who knows how it will go. The paper turned out to be really crappy and may cause difficulties when presented. At least it isn't anyone there's work or so I beleive.

Ugh

And once again here we are 2 hours before presentation time, still writing the presentation up. I hate these things, but they are slowly getting easier. If I started them earlier them would probably be easier still, especially as I look over the material and have more and more questions about it. Damn crappy papers.

Bits to report on for the weekend, but I'll get to that after the presentation.

They say that the light of a candle gives everything a little romance. So as the power was out this morning I took a dump by candle light, if romance was in the air, I really need to spend less time sending flowers and opening doors.

The drive in was a bit exciting. It was the first time I really got to test the forrester out in the snow and I must say it handled brilliantly. No pulling, no fishtailing, no spin outs, no worries...well maybe that some other idiot would smash into me, but thats always been the case. I highly recomend the vehicle for anyone who has to drive in snowy conditions.

I saw the fantastic four last night. It was as expected. They had to make a number of changes from the comic so that it would make sense for this day and age. The actors did ok jobs, but I think they could have cast it a lot better. I always imagined Dr. Doom with a deep booming voice, but he has the alto sort of geeky voice. Its kind of hard to take him serriously.

Its quiet and empty here. I haven't had but a moment to sit down all day. My head hurts and I want to go home, but there is still more to do. The house needs to be cleaned. I need to finish the adventure for this week and stuff needs to come out f the autoclave.

Every morning I wake up to vivid dreams, but can't remember them much later unless I write them down.
Not much else to say which hasn't already been said.

Lots to say, but I haven't had a moment to say it.
Went to NYC over the weekend, it was a timeless good time, meaning we had no time. I was up fairly late friday night, after dropping the dog off at my parents house and chatting it up with my sis I camehome and began watching fellowship of the ring. Sat morning I was up before dawn and got packed and in to school for about 30 minutes of work, then me and BZ raced down to new haven, barly missing the train. If we didn't have to park in the far garage we would have made it. Fortunatly for us the group we were going with decided to wait for us.
Got into the city and the group decided they wanted to drop off their bags at the hotel. So we sub out to the hotel which is at the last stop in flushing, about 30-45 minutes outside of grand central. Nicefully they had lost our reservations and had only 3 rooms left, 1 king, 1 queen, and 1: 2 twin. All of the rooms were exactly the same size, none of them had really functional cable TV. We took the king and the bed was so hard we barly slept. I have shots of all of the rooms I will display some time later. Needless to say, if even in NYC do NOT, I repeat, do NOT stay at the hotel Imperial.

So we get back into the the city and wonder around time square for a while, then walk to central park and back a ways to find the tree. It was purdy. There were a lot of nice window displays as well. Bought some food off of the street and some other items of less than legal nature. "bootleg copy of Doom".
From there we hit china town for more shopping and some dinner. The resturant was good except for the lemmon pork. The sauce was excelent as was the fried stuff on the pork, but the meat was sub standard. IT was all fat and grissel and bone, just hacked up and fried up. I only ate a bit of it. The rest of the dishes were excelent. Looking back we should have probably just gone home from there.

The next morning we got up and went into the city again, planning to go to the met, but me and BZ bailed before we got there. I'm not a big art fan at least not in the sence that I could spend hours looking at paintings and stuff.

So we came back home. I got a new watch at the clinton outlets as I couldn't ifnd any street "rolex"es of quality. We finished up fellowship and got started on the "two towers". I am loving the new home entertainment system.

I had two dreams of note. On monday morning I had a night mare that I was eating at a chinese resturant and they kept over charging me, bringing bills of like 1000$. It was weird and I'm not sure why it kept waking me up frightened. just a very odd dream.

This morning I had one of those really vivid dreams as in "Vivid" dreams if you know what I mean. There was some red haired girl in it, who I knew, but I don't think I actually know her. I can't remember her name or even her face now, but in the dream she was someone I am friends with. It was very odd. PS in the dream she was really kinky too, which I'm pretty sure she isn't in real life, but I still don't know who she is.

I'm unmedicated today which you probably figured since this post jumps around and probably makes no sence. Work has been super busy and I'm going to cut class today so that I can get out at a resonable hour.

Feeling somewhat beter today, mostly due to actually getting some rest last night, though who knows how much. I'm feeling somewhat scattered today so this post wil reflect that.

LAst night I got to see "Mr. & Mrs. Smith". My expectations were low. The film was over hyped and stared hollywood's hottest couple, sucks to you Tom Cruise and Kattie Holms fans, yes I'm talking about Brad and Angelina. I must say the film was a shocking suprise. Excelent writing, directing, and acting made this one of my funniest films of the year. Its old school action and I'm not talking 70's porn, this was reminiscent of later rambos or comando, excelent one liners, some physical comedy, and a screen presence which can't be topped. Well as not to kiss this film's ass any more, I give it 2 thumbs up and highly sugest all go to see it.

Had lunch with one of my grad buds today and found out her PI wants her to be done a year from now. We've only been here a year and a half, so it would be a PHD in under 3 years which is almost unheard of. I must say I'm a bit jealous as I'd love to be out of here sooner as opposed to later. Not that I don't like it here, but I feel like I'm a bit old to be chilling in school. I have expensive tastes and want to get a real job and on with my life.

I have another paper to get done today, fun fun fun.