too little too late
What is it washed up actresses and music stars do to try to regain just a smidge of their former glory?
You guessed it, pose nude. Madonna, Demi More and man others have all done it.
Latest to join the ranks....
Brittany Spears.
http://apnews.excite.com/article/20060629/D8IHV9TO0.html

Look lady, you were hot once. Then you got hitched, then divorced, then hitched again, then knocked up, then knocked up again. White trash not only fits you, but you're practically the deffinition. Maybe back in 02 I would have been interested in seeing some more flesh from you, but my god, that picture is just awuful. I think I'd rather see....well just about anyone than you right now.

Last night we racked the first batches of mead. Samples were taken and wow. For having fermented for about 2.5 months and this being my first and second attempts, it was really good.
The Alcohol content is around 16-18% and clarity is decent.
In fact it was going so well we ended up bottling some of one of them and will be serving it at the party next weekend. It got a touch of sugar added to it to try to make it sparkle, so we'll see how that goes.

Also I finally cleaned up the mess that the home made soda became. It was actually kind of scarry because when I opened up the box, the bottom was all full of liquid. I figure no big deal one of the bottles burst, but wholy jeaze when I say burst I mean burst. The 2l coke bottle was split up the side as if it has really exploded. There was a second bottle which looked like it was ready to go as well. It had nearly doubled in size and was just a big oval shape. We ended up throwing the bottles off the porch to try to make them explode to no avail. It was quite exciting though.

Oh I almost forgot, I have been reading through the new surgen general's report on second hand smoke and the problems it causes or more correctly stated is very loosly associated with.

From the news article I read, which lead me to the report, I expected more concrete numbers. In almost all cases I have seen so far the numbers are as follows.
Rate of cancer/sids/ect w.o second hand smoke 1.0
rate of cancer/sids/ect with second hand smoke ~1.5

so what does this really mean? You are 50% more likely to get (insert bad thing) if you are exposed to second hand smoke. Although this may seem like a shocking number to some of you, in the world of science, this is what you call a very loose association. Less that a 100% increase is really meaningless, especially with the amount of error in these reports.

Lets take a look at a few numbers for lung cancer, which seems to be to possibly be the most easily linked as you are breathing in the smoke and thats where it goes.
In canada
years living with a smoker Risk
none 1.0
1.36 0.83
37-77 1.54

In europe
intensity of second hand smok Risk
none 1.0
medium 0.87
high 3.24

So from these studies it appears that living with a medium smoker for up to 36 years actually helps prevent lung cancer.

In the US
Men Risk
SHS by spouse 1.96
SHS at work 1.89

Women
SHS by spouse 1.05
SHS at work 1.57

So apparently men have about the same suceptability to second hand smoke wether at home or at work, while women on the other hand are much more suceptable to second hand smoke at work than at home.

Really these numbers are all BS and don't show any signifigant trends. Of cource that dosen't stop the papers from reporting on how horrible it is for you, which will lead to more bans in resturants and othe public places.

Idiots all of them!

Well the flag burning ammendment to the constitution has failed by only one vote. And to that I say, Horay!!
Though as with the proposed ban on gay marriage It is disturbing at how close these votes have been.

I read through the report and see quotes from asses like Bill Frist "Countless men and women have died defending that flag," said Majority Leader Bill Frist, R-Tenn., closing two days of debate. "It is but a small humble act for us to defend it."
No ass wipe. Countless men and women have died defending the freedom america represents, freedom which all too many americans now take for granted. What is a flag anyway but a symbol. What is more important, to defend a symbol or to defend what the symbol stands for? The american flag in its self is meaningless, just some colored cloth. If we didn't have the rights given to us in the constitution and bill of rights, that cloth and dye might as well be rearranged to that of Iran or other countries rules by fear and oppression.

Now on the subject of flag burning/desecration in itself, I am opposed to it. As an american I love my country and it is somewhat disturbing to see a symbol of it tarnished. But as an american, if another american feels the need to express himself by burning a flag, it is my responsibility to stand up for his rights to do so. It is also my responsibility to express myself to him by telling him to Fuck Off. This is the beauty of freedom of speach and expression.

Getting off politics, Last night I saw Ultra Violet. It was actually much better than I expected. The plot was a little weak as it is with most scifi films. And it was kind of funny seeing the chick for resident evil staring in another scientificly engineered virus gone wrong film (talk about wacky type casting). Over all, I thought the effects were quite good and more importantly the technology and vision in the film were fairly unique and a nice change up from the normal furutistic world we are becoming accustomed to.
To all who like this sort of thing I deffinatly reccomend it.

Also last night we finished the Anime series Gilgamesh. I must say the ending was a little dissappointing and a lot confusing. I may have to go and read the manga to try to understand it all. It kind of saddens me when series I like have wacky endings which just leave the viewer hanging or when they don't seem to fit with the rest of the series as was with Beserk.

Also did some more cleaning last night. Its actually good that we host functions every now and then so those problem areas in the house get picked up a bit.

Its going to be a long slow day. Other lab members are usning equipiment I need so now I have to wait. I really don't like days like this.
Yesterday I send in my resiginations from the RPGs. Really it felt good, like a big weight lifted.

Also yesterday I read something very disturbing and feel the need to spread this info around.

http://www.latimes.com/business/la-fi-teeth18jun18,0,6070665.story?track=tottext

This article deals with what is called holistic dentistry.
I think I'm beginning to just associate the word holistic with very negative connotations, but well justified.

For those of you who don't like to read the articles I link to, holistic dentistry is the proactice of curing bodily ailments through the teeth, specifically by removing your teeth. They usually seem to start by replacing all of your silver fillings with their more expensive resin ones. If that dosen't make you feel better, then they start pulling. If removing all of your teeth dosen't work they will start taking parts of your jaw bone.

This is simply ludricious. There is no, absolutly no scientific or medical data which shows that this is an effective treatment for any of the diseases or symptoms they claim to cure. Things like cancer. Its some nonsence which was sleightly popular back in the early 19oo, back before we knew much about oral hygiene, back when amputation was a regular treatment . Come on people, haven't we progressed some since then? I'd like to think we have moved past chewing on roots, sticking leeches on people, and hacking off body parts as normal medical treatment.

Apparently some people are just suckers. The Doc said this was good for me, so I do it. Well if the Doc said eating dog shit was a cure for cancer would you do that too? Well there are those people who drink their own urine I guess.
Why is the world full of so many morons.

It was a tiring kind of depressing weekend. Spent about half of saturday playing final fantasy and the other half cleaning. I was supposed to meet up with friends who were camping, but the weather wasn't going to allow it.

Sundaywas some more FF, some shopping (picked up supplies for my airbrush), swung in to T&J's place to pick up some books on King Aurthor for an upsomming story I plan to do, then in to school for a few hours.

Not too much else to share. I've decided to quit all of the online RP writing games I'm in. For some I've just had it with the people. For other's I just need the extra time if I'm really going to make some effort at being a writer.

There are some other OL things that are annoying me as well. I'm having problems ordering some items from a site I frequent because they are lousy at sending me a total price. I mean whats the big deal. Your site sells stuff. People say I want to buy these things and you send them a total. How do these idiots stay in business?

No good movies or really any other excitement.
I did finish the DiVinci code. Oddly enough I think I may have liked the film better, which just goes to show that Dan Brown is a hack. Of cource until I get something out there I'm a poser, which is probably worse than a hack, but hell ya got to start somewhere.

Its friday, finally marvelous friday.
Science has been going well. I have gotten my DNA check for mutants working and two of my transformations did indeed work, I just have to grow up and check the rest of them now.
Unfortunatly since things have been working I've been staying late trying to push through and catch up to where I wanted to be before things started to go bad. So its been a long week.
The worst part is the waiting. I only have a 4ish hours of lab work to do a day, but a 5-4hour growth period, which sucks because I don't have much to do durring that time.

My normal websites have been slow to update and I'm through with the ones that do update in about an hour so its a lot of down time. I've been trying to write more, but its also slow going. I am sleightly annoyed that I didn't check titles before I sent in my AR peice, because the title I used is similear to my friend J's. I also wish my computer would allow me to read the stories there so I can determine if my story idea had already been done.
Oh well, just have to hope for the best.

So far I am enjoying my time away from online RP. I'm still reading through the posts and its kind of disheartening how little the crew, and I mean just about all of them, understand things like technology, plot devices, character development, plot development, ect.
Its really not that hard to follow. And I don't mean you have to understand the science behind the technology. If you define device A as doing action B, who cares how that happens or you can use some trechnobabble if you want. The important thing is you remember what B is.
For example, the current story line is sort of a holodeck gone bad spin off. My character has figured out a way to "hack" the system and write his own holograms. So another character is told to get us some transportation. He writes in a post about going out to steal something instead of asking me to create something for him. Oh well.

In better news my science seems to be on. My DNA extraction seems to have worked for the second day in a row. Now its time to start doing it on real samples. The PCR from yesterday also worked correctly, so lab life is good for the time being.

Also in good news I wrote up most of a story yesterday to enter into anotherrealm's garage sale contest. Its no contest winner, but should be a decent read. Its deffinatly not some of my best work, but right now I'm happy to be writing anything and hopefully with a little practice the rest will come back to me.

Last night I saw "8 Below", the semi true story of a man and his love for his dog sled team. Wow what a tear jerker. If you love dogs you'll probably ball through this film.

Its the beginning of another wonderful week.
The weekend was plesant and in some ways went better than I expected.

Friday's game was really good. We got to do a lot of role playing, a little fighting, and more importantly the party didn't end up all dead or somewhat prematurly ending the campaign. I had some ideas of how to continue it if they did the early ending, but now thats all scraped. We're going back to sort of mission based adventuring and sort of a "classic" type campaign for a bit.

Saturday I came in and spent a good chunk of the day working the bench. The new DNA extraction procedure worked like crap, but I think I may have finally gotten a good harvest using the old procedure. I'll know for sure in a few hours. Also did some shopping while waiting for the bugs to grow up to the correct amount. I couldn't find the figures I've been looking for. I really have to remember to just buy things when I see them and not wait on anything.

Sunday was a long slow sort of day. I played a lot of final fantasy. Even though I'm not liking all of the blasted story scenes in this one, at least I like the characters. They are again heroic and not a bunch of whiners like they were in 8. After that went out shopping agian. Got some new shoes. My old ones squeeked like crazy and were driving me nuts, so this was very exciting.
I was supposed to get together with a high school friend and catch up on the last 12 years of our lives, but I never heard from her so those plans got shot.

Thats about all the news.

Oh nope, One of the girls I work with just got engaged so that was some big excitement this morning.
Also another friend of mine just got unengaged so its kind of odd. My life is returning to a state of balance.

Yesterday was a long day. One of the guys in the lab defended and we went out to dinner afterwards, a dinner which was supposed to begin at 7 but some people showed up 45 minutes late, so we got our food around 8:30. The food was good. It was a very swanky resturant. I kind of wish I had gone for a more adventurous dish, as the steak was tasty but I've had better.

Today is kind of a short day. I got in late, not so much because I got up late, which I did, but because there was an accident on 9 and I got held up for about 40 minutes.
Its also somewhat of a sad day. I just put in a 2 week loa to both of the online RPGs I'm in. One of the players (same one in both games) is an overly controlling bitch. Role playing should have some sort of story to it. You set up some sort of beginning, middle, and end to keep things together, but in the end it should all be character driven. If the story takes a turn or twist due to what a character does, you shouldn't continue to hold fast to your plan.
This is what continues to happen. She wants to plan everything out and won't accept any sort of deviations from the script. Well then whats the point of playing it out? There is no mystery, no excitement, and a lack of creative imput from anyone but her.
I'll probably end up quitting both games, which for one is kind of sad because I've been in it for a few years now.

Its also a sad day as my Morman friend won't be comming in all of next week, so this is nearly the last time I will see her. I really don't like losing people, especially when I think they are cool and fun.

Only real good news is it is game night. I've got some stuff worked up for it, but not as much as I'd like. There is just too much in flux right now and there is a very good chance no one will survive this adventure, which is not how I like to run things. Well who knows, maybe someone will come up with something I haven't thought of yet.

This will be a post of self reflection and is probably best not read by anyone.
Which is why I posted it, but don't say I didn't give fair warning.

I woke up at 3:00am this morning, wide awake, no chance of falling back to sleep. I know, I tried until about 4am. Yesterday was an interesting day. I would guess any day where you take note of what you are thinking would be. I have to say in some ways it was kind of sad.
Sex used to be a major driving force in my life. I could see a certain beauty and desirability in all the women in my life. My dreams be they day or night were lusty moving adventures. torrid tales of sex and violence, not usually together, but better than any porn or action film I saw.

Now sex seems almost more like an abstract notion. I see "stimulating" things and instead of feeling the raw desire of wishing to possess them and knowing how I'll "Look, she's wearing a thong and I can see it...That should be erotically stimulating. Maybe there is a good article to read online." Its like I've just lost all sense of desire. All the hot adventures I've had, which just the breifest thought of used to get my motor running, now just seem to be a distraction, and not in a good way.

I really used to wonder about people losing their sex drive, passing their prime. It always seemed to be a very insane sort of notion, but now I wonder. Is this what its like?

Yesterday on the way home, I passed two hot chicks out jogging, wearing sports bras and tiny short shorts. I say practically out loud (since no one else was in the car) "Man I'd like to get some of that." But in my mind I'm hearing "they're too young" and then just a big blank space.
In fact I think thats what ends up happening a lot. I begin to think about something sex related and just get a blank space. Its like reading a book and not being able to visualize whats going on. This is also whats happened to my writing. I used to be able to just see the scenes in my head and had to scramble to get them down on paper. Now I have ideas I can't visualize and all that gets written is hollow and empty.

So what do you do when life becomes flavorless?

two more things,
Oops I did it again.
I need to stop slowing down.

Also driving and doing hand gestures which go along with some songs is a bad idea.

To start:
"Oops I did it again"
"Oops I did it again"
I need to listen to more beneign radio on the way in. So far this day has been too busy to really think much. But when I stop to think about whether I'm thinking I start to think, which I don't think should count.

For those of you who don't understand, just remember, I'm mental.

We're supposed to be filming this weekend but so far I haven't gotten an affirmative from anyone. Now I remember why the last film we did was all so last minuite. We had a solid 3 person cast and then picked up who ever wasn't busy at the time we wanted to shoot and threw them in.

I think for any future films I'm going to have to recruit form outside the people I know, which makes it harder to type cast people, so we'll probably have to have real auditions.

I can't even say how much of a downer it is. Even people who should be a lock are waffeling. Maybe I'll just pull an eddie murphy and write a one man show and do all the different parts mysef.

Thats all for now. Its a busy lab day so I'll probably be going out of my head in a few hours. With luck thought I'll be able to get out a bit early to work on props and maybe some script revisions. Also I need to solidify the adventure for this week. I think I've come up with enough of an idea to keep the game running for some time, but I need a lot of monsters worked up for this war. Though maybe I'll just do mostly boss monsters as there are enough minnions to keep each other busy and they aren't really a challenge to anyone in the party.

More crazy dreams last night, but nothing I can remember. I need to remember not to eat spicy food before bed.
So aparently filming this weekend is on. After not hearing back form anyone I was about to cancel, but my friends at school want to do it, so its on. I'm still not hearing back from anyone, so It might be a good idea to have a backup script of sorts, which could be done by a smaller number of people.

Had a talk with the boss today. He wasn't too happy with my progress and I don't blame him. It just seems like I'm having the biggest trouble doing the simplest of procedures. I follow the instructions and nothing seems to work. I just don't get it.

Not too much else to say, lots of work to do for film. I need to get costumes ready now and props as well as the dragon.

I had two odd dreams this morning.
The first I can only partially remember, but it had something to do with school. I remember waking up thinking I had to get up and go in, that is until I looked over and saw it was only 3AM.

In the second dream, my friend C had stayed over for a weekend, but for some reason I didn't know she had come up, so in the dream it was sunday and she was comming out of the guestroom and complaining that no one had paid attention to her all weekend. Then I came out of my room, stark raving nakid and I'm having a conversation with her about how I didn't know she was here, yada yada yada. So she got really mad and starts saying all these odd things about how I didn't know what I was doing and this was all wrong. And she had this weird demonic like voice.
Yeah it didn't make a lot of sence.

Over the weekend, we went to my parent's place for my dad's birthday. Had some steak and bannanna cream pie then broke out the pokemon monoply for some old school gaming.

Sunday I pretty much just hung around and played final fantasy 10(X). I must say it wasn't nearly as good as I expected. The last FF game I really played was 7. It had a great story line with lots of things you could do, many side quests, and even multiple endings and paths to take for each part of it. 10 seems to be more like watching a movie. The animation is really good, but there really isn't any options to the story and there are so many cut scenes I think I've watched more than I've played. The game really locks you in to the linear story. You can't detour really anywhere and you are even forced to play some stupid sports game (blitzball) in the middle of it. I couldn't even deal with the instructions for blitzball, because each one, and there were like 10, goes on for about 8 minutes. You can't exit out of them. You can't skip through them. If you want to learn to play, you have to spend over an hour watching your guy swim back and forth on the screen without being able to control him.

So none the less, it is a big dissappointment. I like the story in it much better than 8, which was annoying. But I want to explore. I want to talk to people and learn interesting tidbits to understand the story. I don't need to just plow through the game and have anyhting signifigant told to me.

Apparently the backlash from 6-6-6 caused some sort of issue with blogger preventing me from posting yesterday.

So first some big US news. The motion to ammend the constitution to prohibit gay marrage failed. The vote was even lower this time than the last time they tried this discriminatory crap, which was just under 50% for this time. For some reason that number just sickens me. So about 49% of the senate thinks that a large population of the american people don't deserve to have the same rights as anyone else. This really isn't any different than laws against interratial marriage was put forth back in the day. Its discrimination pure and simple. This is america, not some third world theocracy. You don't have to agree with what your neighbors are doing, just like they don't have to agre with you, but we should all have the same rights as to what we can and can't do.

Oh and for those of you who beleive that gay people getting married will somehow ruin marrage for straight people, I suggest you look to massachutsets. They were the first state to legalize gay marrage and they have the lowest divorce rate in the country. Check it for your selves. Many states which have passed ammendments or laws banning gay marriage tend to have the highest divorce rates in the country. Having a partner that you love, cherish, and respect makes for a happy marriage be you of the same sex or opposite. Maybe these states should spend a little less time thumping their black books and a little more time working on the social issues they have.

Ok, enough polotics. On Tuesday night I finally saw underworld Evolutions. The first Underworld in my oppinion was a fairly bad film. It was all stye and very little substance. The monsters sucked and were little better than humans, and those who were supposed to kic the most ass (death dealers) were the crappiest of them all. So I pop in the DVD with little expectations and I must say, my expectations were vastly surpassed.

UE had plot, lots of back story, beter acting, much better monster powers. It was fast paced and cool, with a few nifty twists you don't fully expect. I highly recomend it to all.
The only negative I would say about the film was the love making scene. Who ever directed it did a slop ass job. Its all one position and their genitals don't even line up, yet they are acting like their doing it. To give them the bennefit of the doubt, I am not a vampire expert so perhapse vamps reproduce by getting fucked in the bellybutton. Who knows?

Today is kicking off as a bad science day. My damn gell broke through the tape on the mold twice so twice I had to wipe the goop off the counter and start again.
With luck it will pick up.

6-6-6
Hahahahaha, today is the devil's day....
That is if your a superstitious nincompoop.
I can't even tell you how many news stories I heard this morning about women who were worried if they had their child today, it would be the antichrist.
This is a sign our society has gotten too religious.
These people should have their child taken from them and be placed in a mental institution. Instead we make news stories of them, schedual medical appointments for unnesecary C-sections, ect, all to coddle some irrational fear.
We shouldn't be sucking up to these midevil dipshits. We should be quelling their irrationalism with logic.
Look lady, God isn't going to feed your kid, or child proof your house, or burp, or change him.
The Devil isn't going to take his soul, or make him do bad things, or anything else like that.
He isn't going to destroy the world because of the day he was born on.

Now read these pamphlets about breast feeding and this book by Dr. Spock. And don't be such a twit.

The weekend was kind of long and dull. Its kind of funny but I'm finding more and more days where I'd rather come in than sit home. Everything just feels kind of drab and colorless today. I need to find a refuge every now and then and I don't think such a place really exists anymore.

Friday night was good at least. The game went well as always. Of cource the party did the unexpected and somehow started a war between two of the main countries in this made up world. So now I have to plan out whats going to happen in this war. So much for my beautiful campaign world. Oh well, there always the next one.

Not too much else to say. I kind of just feel like being small and invisable for a while.

Its friday. Its game day. And I am totally bummed out.
I found out this morning that my friend Linsey is going to discontinue her graduate life and move to manhatan...New York.
Its very sad for me that she is going to go. She is one of the two people I hang out with up here now. I'm almost seeing some sort of pattern forming. People I like tend to go.
School will be a bit empty without her and deffinatly a lot less exciting.

I do wish her well and will do what I can to help her out, but I'm also selfish and really wish she would stay.

Thats probably the worst part of growing up. Knowing that you will probably never make these perminant friendships anymore. Everything is temporary. People get new jobs, they move away, and you never see them again.

The new Pope is an asshole.


There I said it.
Now its no secret I'm no fan of organized religion and the wack jobes they like to put up on pedistals, but when I'm done I have a feeling a few of you might aggree with me.

When this Ass was first put in the position I thought to my self, now whats going to be wrong with this one. I wasn't a big fan of the old pope, but besides trashing other religions every now and then and having a midevil stance on birth control, they guy was fairly stand up.
He goes out, new guy comes in. Right away we see the reports that old RatSinger was part of the Hitler Youth. Great Nazis in the Catholic church. So he claims it was all a mistake and he got out before anything happened or something like that and I give him the bennofit of the doubt.

Now we have this
http://www.latimes.com/news/opinion/commentary/la-oe-goldhagen31may31,0,5512262.story?coll=la-home-commentary

He goes to Auschwitz and makes the false claim that the horrors that went on there were only done by a "ring of criminals" who tricked the good german people.
As this wasn't bad enough he goes on to say that the Nazi's killing of the Jews was to "to tear up the taproot of the Christian faith". What is this Bullshit?
Many of the Nazis were christians. Even Hitler said he was one. And those of you who claim he wasn't because of his actions are just blinding yourselves. Lots of people who are christians don't act like it.

What the hell is going on in the world?
Just because our president seems to be able to lie to the american people and get away with it time and again does this mean all the world leaders should start doing it?
What the hell happened to good people, with real values. Where are all the stand up leaders, who see worngs in the world and stand up and speak out against it.
When did we enter this MAfia esque era, where you see the neighbor's getting robbed and you go snag their TV because you want to get your payday too.

Ass Holes, all of them!

WTF!!!!!

I am about to explode. The shit I have just read is simply off the charts.
Take a few minuites to skim through this.
http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2006/05/15/AR2006051500875.html?referrer=emailarticle

This is a report by the washington post publicizing a very important issue.

"New federal guidelines ask all females capable of conceiving a baby to treat themselves -- and to be treated by the health care system -- as pre-pregnant, regardless of whether they plan to get pregnant anytime soon."

For all of you right wing anti-abortion nuts out there, this is the next step. Its only a matter of time before they try to make these guidelines law. Say good bye to women's rights. Thats right besides perscribing a variety of supliments women planing to get pregnant should also quit smoking, maintain a healthy weight, and keep cronic illnesses such as asthmar or diabetes under control.

Thats what it says today. How long do you think it will be before this list also includes such things as drinking alcohol, consuming caffiene, entering into stressful situations, ect. These al could be harmful to an unexpected pregnancy.

So for those of you who were out shouting "Murderer" at the Abortion clinics, I hope you wanted your wives, daughters, mothers to be nothing more than house wives. Getting an education is stressful, voting is stressful, working is stressful. Pre-pregnant age runs from about 13-60.
I hope you women who were there are ready to stop smoking, stop drinking coffee or soft drinks, no more booze, no more career, no more candy, no more chocolate. You new job is to stay home, look good, and don't talk back or speak up (discussions are stressful).

I am simply in disbeleif at the BS the Fed is churning out.

Now don't get me wrong, I'm all for woman staying healthy, but it shouldn't be a guideline and deffinatly not a law. If some chick wants to be a fat, tar soaked booze hound, thats fine. This is america. I wouldn't hang out with her or date her, but I sure as hell wouldn't take away her right to ruin her life.

Ugh, I'm too upset to even make sence any more.